S**t My Kids Say
Me, while driving out to feed my aunt's cows on her farm: Wouldn't it be nice to live in the country? The Boy: Can I get a four wheeler? Me: No. The Boy: How about a Polaris? Me: That's just another word for four wheeler. The Boy: How about a motorcycle? Me: Do you think I grew you so one day you could wreck a four wheeler and have your skull split open and have your brains fly everywhere? The Boy: Well, that's family friendly.***
The Girl: I put on my jammies and brushed my teeth without being asked. How do ya like them apples?