S**t My Kids Say

Me, while driving out to feed my aunt’s cows on her farm: Wouldn’t it be nice to live in the country?

The Boy: Can I get a four wheeler?

Me: No.

The Boy: How about a Polaris?

Me: That’s just another word for four wheeler.

The Boy: How about a motorcycle?

Me: Do you think I grew you so one day you could wreck a four wheeler and have your skull split open and have  your brains fly everywhere?

The Boy: Well, that’s family friendly.

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The Girl: I put on my jammies and brushed my teeth without being asked. How do ya like them apples?